This was my face last week on Wednesday when I went to an event with Robb Report on how women shape opinion, culture, our economy and our world. I listened to four successful women speak about their achievements. One was the founder of Salt & Straw Ice Cream, another, Ceo of a global philanthropy group, a venture capitalist providing capital to minority owned companies and ahem …. an astronaut. So after everyone stood up and gave a twenty minute brief on their achievements and Ivy League schools I turned to my friend and made this face and said holy crap all I did today was make a big Twinkie.
And then I quickly yelled at myself and said why the hell, as women, are we all so hard on ourselves? I went to an event that was supposed to inspire me to get creative and inventive and I left feeling a little inspired, but also just upset that I was not further along in life. Hell, I’m 35 and I have two babies and I feel like I have had my head punched in for the last three years trying to deal with a divorce, a parenting plan, back and forth schedule, nightmare emails, and every other emotional up and down that comes with a life that didn’t didn’t go as planned and when I finally stand up and dust myself off I am hit with the thought, “Damnit why is …..”Why is my renovation project taking so long? Why is my blog not growing faster? Why did I get mad at the kids ten minutes before bed because they were running around like crazy animals? Maybe I should have played with them a little longer outside instead of doing the laundry. Why can everyone else get so much done in a day? Why can’t the freaking Food Network call me and be like heyyyy we want a blonde girl that likes to bake giant twinkies to come on our show!?
At the end of the day I think most of us are doing the best we can and you can’t compare yourself to everyone else. You gotta be good, do good, and good will come back to you. And if giant Twinkie recipes are how you shape the world then so be it. You do you.
Giant Twinkie
Cake ingredients
2 cups cake flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter
1 1/2 cups white sugar
8 egg yolks
3/4 cup milk
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Filling ingredients
1/8 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup shortening
1/4 cup butter, room temperature
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1 teaspoons vanilla extract








